Day Twenty Two
Surrender…Guilt
I have a big task at hand today as I support you in surrendering the ego’s debilitating game of guilt. I was inspired to look back at another 40-Day Journey I wrote, A 40-Day Affair with Your Self. I found some gems of wisdom that are perfect to share today. This wisdom can help you come to your own awareness on how you can heal and break free from guilt.
“I looked up the definition of guilt. One meaning of guilt from A Course in Miracles, which I studied years ago; caught my attention. “Guilt follows from the unconscious belief in sin or error.”
As I reflected upon this, so many thoughts streamed through my consciousness. What are the sources of this belief that I have sinned or been in error? I ripple back in time to everything I was taught or told while growing up, and all of the messages and teachings about right, wrong, good, bad and even evil. It goes back to the programming we received and all the experiences we had with our parents, teachers, religion, society, and every authority figure or expert who crossed our path.
I see religion as a prominent source of why many suffer from guilt. Throughout the years I have encountered many students and clients who refer to themselves as “recovering Catholics.” I personally removed my daughter from CCD after reading some of the prayers they were reciting where she was affirming that she needed forgiveness from God for her sins. I thought, “What sins? She is only seven years old!” I didn’t want those beliefs being programmed into her young precious mind. I am not picking on Catholicism because the Jewish religion has its own subliminal messages of why we should feel guilty.
I feel many, including myself, have also used guilt as form of manipulation and control to get what we want. We also use it when we’ve been hurt by another. We can’t understand or express how we feel so we unconsciously project guilt upon that person, wanting them to feel bad because we felt hurt or angry.
We have also been programmed to feel guilt around certain food choices. I am sure you’ve seen advertisements that say, “Sinfully good!” How often do you really enjoy eating something and then the enjoyment turns into feelings of guilt or shame?
This past year, I heard a powerful statement at a workshop I attended, “Guilt only invites self-punishment.” WOW! That gave me a whole different perspective on torturing myself with guilt.
Really sit with this phrase, “Guilt only invites self-punishment.” Ask yourself – Why do I keep punishing myself and leave myself open for others to punish me as well?
Day Twenty Two
Trust…Love and Compassion Heals
So how do you heal and transform guilt to experience love and compassion?
Here is a step-by-step reflection and action process you can practice:
- Pay attention and be aware when you feel that familiar feeling of guilt
- When you feel it, ask yourself the question: How does this guilt serve me?
- Realize this is a game of the ego. Surrender the need to punish yourself with guilt.
- Choose self-love and compassion. Acknowledge that you are doing the best job you can with what you know, and that you are always learning and growing.
- Reflect from this place of self-love. How can you choose to respond to the situation that originally created that feeling of guilt? Remember guilt is not an option.
- Act if necessary.
I also encourage you to use your Surrender Box. Anytime guilt surfaces, release it into your virtual or physical Surrender Box and let it go. As you surrender, ask for peace and pray for self-love, self-compassion and if need be, self-forgiveness.
Day Twenty Two
Reflect and Journal…
Has there been any guilt you have ruminated about, and can’t let go of?
How is it serving you to hold onto this guilt or why do you feel the need to continue to punish yourself?
Be willing to choose a different response or surrender it up to the Divine, and ask for healing and a peaceful outcome to unfold