Day Sixteen
Surrender to…Your Beauty
I want to share this powerful experience from an inward journey Louie and I took with breathwork. It was a life-altering experience.
First, before sharing the gift, allow me give you the back-story. My mother has been both my greatest teacher and my biggest thorn. For a lifetime, I have struggled with these big questions surrounding my mother – Why is she the way she is? (My mother was depressed, critical, and in pain for most of my life) and Are you my mother? (I would joke sarcastically using this title of a book my mother used to read me as a child, Are you my mother?. The book is a hysterical story about a baby bird that hatches from the egg when his mother is off looking for food. The little hatchling doesn’t know what his mother looks like, but he goes off determined to find his mother, even after meeting a kitten, a hen, a dog, and a Snort. Always asking, are you my mother?). When my mother would consistently say or do things beyond my comprehension of what a loving mother would do, I would say to myself – Are you my mother? What mother would say or do something like that?
My mother was a perfectionist, and everything had to always be perfect – the house, herself, and her children. If your looks weren’t perfect, she would let you know, and she still does. I know now that everything needed to be perfect because internally everything was out of control. This need to be perfect led to deep wounds about never feeling like I was enough.
I have taken many deep inner healing journeys over the past twenty years. Working hard, feeling and healing the deep wounds and beliefs passed on from my Mother’s insecurities. I also had to forgive her because she didn’t know the truth about love and acceptance and therefore, she couldn’t share it. Every time I stripped away the untruths and the wounds of my past, I found my soul. The more I connected to my soul, the more compassion and understanding I had about my Mother’s pain and confusion.
Now, fast forward to a week ago. I was on my inner journey praying to connect with the God within me and all of a sudden, I was guided to my Mother’s true light – the light of her soul, her pure essence. In the past, I had only been shown the truth of her pain not the truth of her light. She was so beautiful! Beauty that is indescribable. So beautiful! In my thoughts, I called out to my children, so excited, proclaiming – Look at Grandma’s light! Look how beautiful it is! Then I called out to my sister – Look at Mom’s light! Isn’t it beautiful! Then I called out to my mother – Look at your light Mom! Isn’t it beautiful! You are so beautiful! You don’t need any make-up, pretty clothes, or tattooed eyebrows. You are so beautiful, just as you are!
She was beautiful underneath all the masks of pain, perfectionism, and depression. There was just light and pure beauty. What a gift. I have been on a quest to know the truth and determined to have peace with my mother before she passes and here it was.
This life-altering experience proved to me the truth – Love is hidden behind all the pain and suffering. The truth of love can never change or be destroyed. The truth is – We are all the aluminous, loving, light of the Creator. What I saw in my mother is who we all are. You are this beauty!
I need to share the other profound gift I received. Remember I asked God to show me that God resides in me, as me. I believe that the only way this miracle could have occurred, seeing and feeling my mother’s pure beauty, was because I become one with God. In this state of oneness, I saw true beauty through the eyes of God and I felt pure awe and unconditional love through the heart of God. We are not only this beautiful light, but we are the pure beauty and light of the Creator itself.
Day Sixteen
Trust…Your True Beauty is Within
As you journey forward practicing the power of surrender, you peel away the layers of past pain and ego attachments. With each layer you unveil, more of your inner light is revealed. You feel more acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, and you begin to really feel this inner beauty.
Society and cultural upbringing have programmed us to believe that our outer “costume” – our bodies, our looks, and our clothes, defines our beauty. But this beauty is defined from the ego’s perspective.
The soul is who you really are, not your body. Think about it. Does your body go with you when you take your last breath leaving this earth plane? No, your soul is released from the body through the last breath and your soul moves on to its next expression.
As you deepen your desire to know your soul and continue your quest to unveil the illusions of the ego, layer-by-layer, you will re-discover your true beauty. You will be in awe of your light and your beauty. I hope you feel exactly what I felt when I saw my mother’s beautiful soul.
Your soul is one and the same with God. You are the light of this pure infinite love. This love can never change even when it’s hidden beneath all the pain, suffering and the illusions of the ego. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how thin, how heavy, hair or no hair, nice clothes or hand me downs – the truth is – you are pure beauty and this beauty can never change. I believe it only gets brighter and more magnificent with every lifetime you experience.
Day Sixteen
Reflect and Journal…
Just write and journal about your beliefs around beauty.
Journal what you felt as you read today’s message.